Eating Over the Sink

This phrase alone immediate evokes a variety pack of thoughts and emotions.
Most men will think that this is one of the greatest ideas ever. “Hey, I don’t have to get a plate for my sandwich. I’ll just eat over the sink. This way I’ll save time, (I start eating sooner), energy, (walking the four feet to the cabinets and reaching and carrying the plate to the counter, and resources, (the plate saved does not need to be put in the dishwasher and washed therefore saving room for something else – you’re welcome Mr. Gore).
Most women usually simply stare in various levels of bewilderment. “My guy seems smart. Why can’t he just get a plate?”
OK, lemme ‘splain, Lucy.
First, this is usually a quick bite. Lunch - a snack - just a taste - a little sump’n-sump’n. This is not a full meal. We (The brotherhood of over-the-sink-eaters or BOOSE) submit to you that we will not behave this way when
*we have guests
*a nice meal is prepared
*when I have a nice shirt on
I for one can behave much better at a restaurant where the utensils are metal. I can eat one bite at a time, put my fork down while I chew and use the napkin to blot my mouth.
But this ain’t the time.
This (kitchen)sink scenario replays with some regularity in my household. You see, I’m busy, I absolutely need the 17.6 seconds it takes to get a plate and put my ham sandwich on it. And there’s another thing. If I eat over the sink, the mustard and relish drippings will fall right into the sink. Not on the floor. Not on the tablecloth. Not on the cat. Then these drippings will be swished away when I rinse my hands and face when I’m done. Hey, that’s yet another plus since I’m already at the sink. Then I have another opportunity to be even more ecological responsible. I wipe my hands on my jeans and my mouth with my sleeve.